The Cat in the Hat Busts a Cap: Uncut

Down in the hood,
With graffiti on the wall.
Little boy Jimmy,
Thought he’d seen it all.

But down in the ally,
He walked with his shawty.
He met her passed out,
As this girlfriends party.

But deep in the ally,
It was not deserted.
A mysterious figure,
Was apparently alerted.

“Who be ‘dat?”
He said wondering aloud.
“Yout best be gettin’”
He said very proud.

“No you did not”
Said the mysterious fellow.
“I’ll bust your ass up”
He heard the man bellow.

“You know who I am?
Just look at my hat!
You don’t want any of this,
You best get steppin’ Jack!”

“What’d you say yo?”
As he pulled out his gat.
“I don’t give an S who you are,
Even if you are a cat.”

As the cat walked closer,
He brandished an Uzi.
“The cripts and the bloods,
Got nothing on my pussy”

Before they could raise,
Their guns up in rage,
Jimmy pushed back his ho,
Who was clearly under the drinking age.

“That is no way to treat a lady,
I’ll teach your ass a lesson,
You punk ass Slim Shady!”

He snapped his fingers,
And figures came into view.
“Let me introduce you to my homies,
Thing One and Thing Two.”

Thing One and Thing Two,
Pulling out guns of the same,
Pointed the barrels at Jimmy,
Careful to take aim.

There stood Jimmy,
Soiling his clothes.
Fearful of the actions,
Of the two foes.

Then Jimmy’s bitch,
Who kept quiet silent,
Afraid that the scene,
Might certainly be violent.

“Don’t do this baby!”
She said to the Cat.
Don’t worry about him,
Lets smoke some of my crack.”

And with that the Cat said yes,
And called away the two,
Leaving Jimmy in the fetal position,
Proving that saying true,

He meant what he said,
And said what he meant.
The cat will fuck you up,
One hundred percent.