Surfing the internet, I found a website that sells documents and document templates so that you can make all your documents look professional. On the site, in the new section, was a letter of resignation for $10.95.
Now my question is, do you think someone can put that on the company credit card before he uses the letter?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Damn DVR
2 weeks ago I finally decided I wanted to sit down and watch The Devil Wears Prada. So I looked up the movie, and saw that it was playing on Cenimax. I tell my DVR to record it, and I go to it the next day excited to finally watch my movie.
When I play the movie, two naked woman show up, making out with one another. And the title The Devil Wears Nada appears on the screen. Infuriated that I now cannot watch my chick flick due to porn, I go to record it again, this time checking the info to make sure it is the right one.
Yet, once again, my DVR recorded the porn version, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness. My DVR thinks I'm gay, and is trying to get me to watch porn over a touching story involving Anne Hathaway and Meril Streep.
2 weeks later, I have yet to see the stupid movie....
When I play the movie, two naked woman show up, making out with one another. And the title The Devil Wears Nada appears on the screen. Infuriated that I now cannot watch my chick flick due to porn, I go to record it again, this time checking the info to make sure it is the right one.
Yet, once again, my DVR recorded the porn version, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness. My DVR thinks I'm gay, and is trying to get me to watch porn over a touching story involving Anne Hathaway and Meril Streep.
2 weeks later, I have yet to see the stupid movie....
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Hershey Kiss
Today I stole a Hershey Kiss from my sister's valentine. When I unwrapped it, the small slender piece of paper said, "I love you." To which I responded, "I love you more!" then proceeded to throw it into my mouth and say "om nom nom" as I chewed it into small pieces...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Pirates or the Ninjas?
For years I have heard the same argument over and over and over. Pirates or Ninjas? This debate is worse than any on capital hill. No one every wins, friendships destroyed, and feelings hurt. So a few years back I took it upon myself to research the subject and have found an answer other than 42.
When you look at it, it seems simple enough. However, it has multiple outcomes. A child must be born into one, and become another. I pirate as a child must be lost during a siege of a town near a river. The child, being young, will know much of the pirate ways. While watching his family and friends plunder the town, he goes off to play in the river. A scared village person will see his pirate clothes, and knock him out. Realizing it is a kid, they will not kill him, but send him off down the river.
This river will end up in a town far from the boy's homeland. Waking, the boy will wonder for months until he is found by a group of roaming ninjas at night while he is sleeping. The boy will be taken, imprisoned, and taken to their ninja school. Here, instead of killing him, a wise elder will see the potential in this boy to bring the two sides together. They will then raise this boy as one of their own. He will find hard time fitting in, but soon prove to be loyal.
Then a war will finally break out. Both sides will come to one place, after one major event, and finally wage war against one another. This war will last a long time, with many deaths and injuries. Then, when the war seems at its most darkest hour, this boy will arise. Being of both Ninja and Pirate, he will become a rallying point. He will rise up, bringing both ninja and pirates together. Finally, he shall bring both sides together. If he brings the sides together through force or peace will yet to be seen....
The only way to ever find a solution is to have someone of both sides, and this will, in the end, bring a stop to this ongoing, relentless, nerd argument.
When you look at it, it seems simple enough. However, it has multiple outcomes. A child must be born into one, and become another. I pirate as a child must be lost during a siege of a town near a river. The child, being young, will know much of the pirate ways. While watching his family and friends plunder the town, he goes off to play in the river. A scared village person will see his pirate clothes, and knock him out. Realizing it is a kid, they will not kill him, but send him off down the river.
This river will end up in a town far from the boy's homeland. Waking, the boy will wonder for months until he is found by a group of roaming ninjas at night while he is sleeping. The boy will be taken, imprisoned, and taken to their ninja school. Here, instead of killing him, a wise elder will see the potential in this boy to bring the two sides together. They will then raise this boy as one of their own. He will find hard time fitting in, but soon prove to be loyal.
Then a war will finally break out. Both sides will come to one place, after one major event, and finally wage war against one another. This war will last a long time, with many deaths and injuries. Then, when the war seems at its most darkest hour, this boy will arise. Being of both Ninja and Pirate, he will become a rallying point. He will rise up, bringing both ninja and pirates together. Finally, he shall bring both sides together. If he brings the sides together through force or peace will yet to be seen....
The only way to ever find a solution is to have someone of both sides, and this will, in the end, bring a stop to this ongoing, relentless, nerd argument.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Love of Heels
I love high heels, probably too much. I don't have a creepy fetish love of heels, I just simply like the way they look.It's such an odd and awkward thing to love heels because you cant really compliment on a girl's shoes without coming off like a creeper or a gay guy. I come off more as a creeper because I can say "I love your heels" in 4 difference languages, not counting pig latin.
The major problem I have is that you can hear heels coming, depending on the type of the floor. If it's a tile floor, you can hear them coming from around the corner and down the hall. And hearing that amazing click every time a heel hits the floor, my minds goes through multiple ways to get a look at the shoes. Because if not done correctly, you can be a creeper staring at the girls feet, in which case the walk/run away faster. But if you wait too long and look at a girl as she's walking away, you look like you're checking out her ass, and I hate getting those weird looks by other girls when they think I'm staring at a walking away girl.
All in all there are multiple ways to see a girls heels. There is the fake sneeze where you hold your head down for a period as the girl walks away. There is the itchy nose in with you brush your nose against your shoulder on the side she's walking by. The, "I must tie my shoe" is pretty self explanatory. The "Oh no, I dropped something out of my pocket."
And, the one I seem to use far too often and with a too high rate of success, "Oh, my, God! Your shoes, they're just... gorgeous! Where did you get them???" Shut up, it works.
The major problem I have is that you can hear heels coming, depending on the type of the floor. If it's a tile floor, you can hear them coming from around the corner and down the hall. And hearing that amazing click every time a heel hits the floor, my minds goes through multiple ways to get a look at the shoes. Because if not done correctly, you can be a creeper staring at the girls feet, in which case the walk/run away faster. But if you wait too long and look at a girl as she's walking away, you look like you're checking out her ass, and I hate getting those weird looks by other girls when they think I'm staring at a walking away girl.
All in all there are multiple ways to see a girls heels. There is the fake sneeze where you hold your head down for a period as the girl walks away. There is the itchy nose in with you brush your nose against your shoulder on the side she's walking by. The, "I must tie my shoe" is pretty self explanatory. The "Oh no, I dropped something out of my pocket."
And, the one I seem to use far too often and with a too high rate of success, "Oh, my, God! Your shoes, they're just... gorgeous! Where did you get them???" Shut up, it works.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Things I appearently wrote a 2 a.m.
Three Wishes
"If you are granted 3 wish, and your first wish is NOT fore more wishes, you should be publicly stones.
Yeah, there might be a rule against wishing for more wishes. So... *hits head* wish for a change of rules!
Biggest three wish wastes:
1. Millonaire
The IRS is gonna want to know where that money came from
2. Live Forever
When nuclear hollocasts comes, It's you and your new cockroach friends
3. (unreadable for the rest of the entry)"
"If you are granted 3 wish, and your first wish is NOT fore more wishes, you should be publicly stones.
Yeah, there might be a rule against wishing for more wishes. So... *hits head* wish for a change of rules!
Biggest three wish wastes:
1. Millonaire
The IRS is gonna want to know where that money came from
2. Live Forever
When nuclear hollocasts comes, It's you and your new cockroach friends
3. (unreadable for the rest of the entry)"
One of my favorate quotes
"Please, calling you a home-wrecker is like calling a guy who walks around throwing dirt on houses destroyed by tornado a home-wrecker... "
The Drawing Girl
As I was sitting in the library today, trying to study, I ended up walking around to clear my head. I saw a woman sitting in the corner near my study spot with a large pad of paper drawing the scene in front of her in the library.
The fact that someone found library shelves fascinating enough to draw didn't throw me. What threw me was the fact I was worried if i walked in front of her it would mess up her picture. I suddenly saw this girl as taking a picture, and I didn't want to mess it up. Which then got me thinking:
What if I actually did walk by her? Would I show up blurry in her drawing? What if I just suddenly walked up and stopped in the middle of her scene, standing there and forcing her to draw me in her picture? I mean in a scene of a library, I wouldn't really be messing up the picture...
Then I got thinking, do you think the way we duck out of pictures was the same way they did in medieval times? Did simple snap shots take forever, and would they even call them snap shots?
"Hold it, hold it... hang on... Oh crap, I drew the left line on your face wrong and now it's blurry. I'm going to have to take another snap drawing... It's gonna be another half hour guys..."
The fact that someone found library shelves fascinating enough to draw didn't throw me. What threw me was the fact I was worried if i walked in front of her it would mess up her picture. I suddenly saw this girl as taking a picture, and I didn't want to mess it up. Which then got me thinking:
What if I actually did walk by her? Would I show up blurry in her drawing? What if I just suddenly walked up and stopped in the middle of her scene, standing there and forcing her to draw me in her picture? I mean in a scene of a library, I wouldn't really be messing up the picture...
Then I got thinking, do you think the way we duck out of pictures was the same way they did in medieval times? Did simple snap shots take forever, and would they even call them snap shots?
"Hold it, hold it... hang on... Oh crap, I drew the left line on your face wrong and now it's blurry. I'm going to have to take another snap drawing... It's gonna be another half hour guys..."
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